Someone once said to me, "we all have patterns". In this particular reference it was something like "Oh here we go again. She did this the last time." But when she said, "we all have patterns", that stuck with me.
When I decided to make a drastic change in my life, I was studying two books: The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity --Edwene Gaines and Wishes Fulfilled --Wayne Dyer. I already had the desire, but wanted to incorporate the steps for success. I wanted to give into the process. I knew there was something else for me. Mentioned in both readings was that when we change there will be people around us that resist the change. I believed two things could happen. One, those people would just sort of work their way out of my life OR TWO I would fall back into my pattern and comply or withhold who I really was. That was my fear! I am a people pleaser! And I have been this person my whole life. If I was met with resistance to this BIG change, I might lose my courage and not follow through for fear of creating conflict. If I was met with resistance, it would have been easier for me to stay in my comfort zone.
It was so scary, but the pain of staying stuck in the pattern was more than the uncertainty of moving forward.
I was met with resistance and skepticism, but the people who mattered most to me supported me fully. And like the books said, the others just fell by the wayside. New people started to emerge in my life. People who supported this change and desire for growth.
I am met with opportunities to grow and change my patterns everyday. I still fall within that people pleaser category and I am happy that is part of who I am. The lesson comes when I am true to myself, not withholding who I am to please someone else.
I embrace change and growth. Actually I like change because it brings new life and makes me feel like I am always moving forward to new hints of continuing to my best self.
This is a meditation from The Book of Awakening- Mark Nepo
"An awareness meditation. As you move through your interactions today, notice whether you are complying with how others see you or withholding who you are."
"After each interaction, simply breathe slowly once or twice and return to the fullness of who you are."
I would add to this: be gentle with yourself if you feel you have compromised a bit. You are on the path to recognizing and this is also part of the process. Learning the lessons faster each time.