"Tuck the Fringe" is something that I started saying the moment I started teaching. Often we use blankets in our classes and the traditional Mexican Yoga Blanket has fringe on the end. I being a bit OCD started showing students how to "Tuck the Fringe" when we roll the blanket for a pose. It just sort of stuck and became expected by my students. Now it's a joke if I don't say it.
For the last several months, I've been working through some BIG energy pushes. The last time I felt this way was when I had the Divine intervention in South Dakota. When I felt this push then, there was no question about it, it was too strong to ignore. Now I am feeling the same push. Only this time it has taken me much more reflection. I've spent the last 3 months or so feeling like I was birthing something. I mentioned it to a couple of close friends and family, but really I've been reflecting a lot on what it truly is supposed to be. I am still not 100% sure of what it will look like, but I do know it is centered around writing.
Since I can remember, I have loved to write, but I never really had the encouragement until about 6 years ago when I had my first blog. Since then it has felt very natural for me to write. I even had the opportunity to help with writing the book, Happy Stories in 2013. In the past four years now I've been sharing my thoughts on healing, yoga, spirituality and self discovery. Many people gave me props and others, well, lets just say, we all have opinions and some feel the need to share them even if it's in a mean spirited way. I suppose that comes with the territory.
It wasn't until I wrote a eulogy last year for my Grandma's funeral that I really felt like I was a writer. They asked the night before if anyone would like to say something the next day. I didn't immediately speak up, I just waited to see if anyone else would. Then after we all went home for the evening, I told my step-mom that I thought I wanted to speak. She was so supportive and said "YES YOU SHOULD. Your writing is beautiful." She gave me a little notebook with the letter "L" embossed on the front. She handed it to me and said, "Look it even has an "L" on it for Lindstrom (my maiden name) and for love." I headed off to bed to write. It just poured out of me. My Grandma was an amazing woman so writing this story came easy. The next morning I re-read it and made a few changes and practiced it out loud a few times, just to lessen my nerves. I've been away from my hometown for 23 years, so getting up and speaking in front of relatives and friends, some of whom I haven't seen in 23 years, was making me a bit nervous. I wanted my Grandpa to be proud. He was so heartbroken. I just wanted him to smile at some of the memories. Getting the affirmation from him was just what I needed to hear. I was close to my Grandma. We talked a lot on the phone and she always seemed to understand me. My Grandpa's affirmation was as if my Grandma's spirit was telling me, "yes you can do this".
So now here we are a year later. I've been writing a lot on my blog, had one of my Motorcycle Meditations published by an online cycle magazine and even started to write a juvenile fiction story. But there is something different about this push and why "Tuck the Fringe" keeps coming to my mind. The last six years of my life has been a lot of uncovering my true self. Taking this path of self discovery has really opened up a lot of old wounds and false beliefs about myself. Since I've pretty much covered myself up for the first 40 years of my life, I know the rest of my years will be spent uncovering. Richard Rohr says, "The struggle with the false self leads us to the true self."
This is where "Tuck the Fringe" comes in. In yoga, I explain that we "Tuck the Fringe" so that there are no lumps or uneven spots on the blanket so when we place it under the body it doesn't distract us or cause discomfort. What if "Tuck the Fringe" is a metaphor for our life off the mat? Why do we Tuck the Fringe? It is to hide something? Is it to make things nice, neat and perfect? Or to cover the unique qualities of the "fringe" so we aren't vulnerable and open to the opinions, criticism or judgement of others?
Maybe it's the title of a blog post or maybe it's more. Whatever it is, this is where we find out!
"Tuck the Fringe"
**side note** As I was posing for the picture used here, I was self conscious about my hair, my belly roll and a few other self image insecurities I won't mention, when my photog, Robin said to me, "Tuck the Fringe". Right?! Here I am writing about not hiding and letting our true self shine through. She made me laugh and as I did she captured this photo which I am so proud of. It shows my true self and my love for yoga and nature! Thank you Rock Chalk Robin!
**Photo credit ~ Robin Marsh (Rock Chalk Robin)