I look at significant moments in my life as the opportunity for rebirth and renewal. Specific events and challenges now take on the role of UN-tucking one more layer. Prior to this awakening, I didn't allow myself to feel much of anything. I suppressed a lot. Emotions. Desires. God. When I close my eyes, I can visualize my core as layers, neatly packed down. To my tidy mind it looks like layers of clothing packed away into a vacuum sealed plastic bag to preserve the fibers of each item. The bags neatly stacked one ontop of the other. Every step in my recovery is the process of opening up a bag of clothing in a new season to see what I had packed away. Each moment presents the excitement of seeing what's there that I had forgotten.
I call this recovery because it is. This is my journey of recovering the person that God created me to be, that has been buried, packed away for another season. Now is my season. It is sacred and humbling and I treat it with great care. It has taken me over 40 years to begin to UN-Tuck the Fringe. Each layer buried deep and vacuum sealed, looks dark and I fear what the condition will be when it is released. I've held on so tightly to protect myself from the things I fear the most. Rejection. Ridicule. Not being enough. But keeping myself packed away is not an option. So I bravely break the seal on each bag and let the light in. As the bag fills with air, new life begins. Items that felt dark are now uplifted. I methodically take inventory of what I have uncovered and decide what fits and what can be donated back to the universe. I send away those items with love and acceptance for the lessons each one has brought to my journey. The items that remain, fit my true essence and allow me to shine my light. Confidence. Bravery. Compassion. Acceptance. Love. Joy. I wear with pride.
My donation pile gets larger each day and the heaviness continues to lift. I am protective of my journey and pray for guidance and awareness so that I can recognize when items that don't fit make their way back into the keep pile. If something old does find its way, I gentle hold it in my hands and ask it why it's here. Accepting the lesson with Grace. I know that I am enough and so is my process of UN-Tucking the Fringe.