Confidence, to me, means that I am mentally showing up as God sees me. I am confident that I am enough because God says so. The simple act of reframing my thoughts this way has straightened out many crooked situations. Some were more difficult than others, but all allowed me to be confident as I faced them.
Every morning I read several devotional books, from Christian to Metaphysical and anything in between. One, Portraits of Devotion, by Beth Moore, tells the stories of the bible in my terms (ways that I can relate to). The story right now is that of David and today led up to the story of David and Goliath. As I was reading Beth tell the tale in her words, with her southern draw in my head, one sentence really stuck to my heart. "We must develop more confidence in God's word than in the opinions of others." Wow! That's what I'm talking about when I say confidence. Believing in my strength through God. As Father Phil would say, "Let the church say AMEN! Let the saints of God say AMEN!" I wanted to stand up with my hand in the air and say PREACH IT SISTER! And so, I did!
Let me tell you a story of how my journey is changing me. Several years ago, before I left my 9-5, I took part in the Strengths Finder test at work. It was a group exercise to bring us closer and to help us work together more effectively. I didn't care the reason, I loved taking those sorts of tests. And it turns out that I liked this one the best! As I completed the test and my results were tabulated, I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. STRATEGIC ~ ANALYTICAL ~ INTELLECTION ~ FUTURISTIC ~ LEARNER. Blam! That was like a mic drop moment for me! I printed those words out and proudly displayed them on my desk to remind me of my strengths. I must have printed two copies and left one on the printer. As we sat in our morning meeting that day, the regional director walked into our bullpen and held up my strengths. "Who's is this?!" I reached up to grab the page and said something to the effect that they were mine and I must have forgot to get them from the printer. She looked over the page and then to the group, "HMMM. Interesting." She started to talk about everyone else's strengths that were so different than mine. Let's just say, more conducive to the industry we were in. Quickly my pride started to diminish. It was like she was singing the Sesame Street song, "Which of things is not like the others, which of these things just doesn't belong." Immediately I deflated myself and faded into the woodwork. I'd been successful in this industry for many years and I've always been those things, was she right? I would say NO, but I feel like she was a little right. She's was right in the fact that I didn't fit there. I was so over having to kiss ass and cultivate relationships with clients and candidates that were meaningless and superficial. I think I'll take my strengths and go do my thing! And I did! It was a few weeks later that I quit that job to take this journey with you.
I didn't have all the tools in my toolbox back then, so I didn't know I had the God confidence that I speak about now. It was there, somewhere, I just didn't know it. Today is a new day and every day I step more into that phrase. "We must develop more confidence in God's word, than the opinions of others." God created me to be Strategic. Analytical. Intellectual. Futuristic. And a learner. I'm very proud of that. So you won't see me fading into the woodwork and dimming my light because someone else can't see. And you want to know my number one tool? YOGA. My practice opened me up to God, to my true self and to seeing the good in all (even the challenging). Uncovering our true authentic self is the true aim of yoga ~ the union of body, mind and spirit working together for the greater good.