I've learned through a lot of inner work when and why this started. With that knowledge I've been able to go back and revisit times that were difficult and challenging and realize that it always seems to happen when I am on an upswing in life. Meaning, my confidence is lifted, I'm self assured and focused on my true self. Times when I felt like I was doing well and then someone was there to take me down a notch. Usually that someone was someone that I trusted and admired. So I would go back to believing that I should be meek and quiet. Put my head down and just keep going because, well, maybe I'm the crazy one.
I believe 100% that people and situations are put in our life to teach us. For a long time the same personality types kept coming into my life. I know now, to teach me. It's like the universe was testing me and my resolve. How serious are you about your purpose? Do you really believe 100% in what God has called you to do? Let's see by throwing in a few Manipulative Marys and Narcissistic Nancys into the mix. I will be the first to admit, I've been thrown off my game many times by these people. Forty years of co-dependent, people pleasing doesn't disappear overnight. Nope, it takes a lot of work. It will take the rest of my life to work through it. And yes there will be more of those people ready to throw me off my game. Good thing I have God in my corner.
Part of my purpose is to share my journey in an authentic way through yoga, meditation and writing. I ask for guidance to share what needs to be heard and I listen to that guidance. It's often a battle for days and even weeks in my mind, going through the doubt of why would anyone want to hear what I have to say. But I've gotten better at listening. This post started over a week ago and has taken on many forms and up until today it wasn't ready. Then a friend reached out to me and asked me to pray for her and something she was going through. As she shared with me the struggles she was facing, all I could do in my mind was ask to be guided in my words. Much of what she was going through, I had gone through before, several times. I had to be very careful as I listened to her situation, to not let old hurts begin to take me back into victim mode. The bully in my mind was ready to say, "Girl let me tell you what happened to me and how bad it was." until it became a back and forth banter between the two of us singing our done me wrong country songs. So I listened and reassured her that she could be vulnerable and there would be no judgement or criticism. Her healing journey is just that, hers. She needed someone to care and to be compassionate, not fix her problem. We all want to share what works for us, but we must know that just offering compassion and care to people is the biggest gift we can give. When they feel safe, their healing can move forward.
This Tuck the Fringe moment is about understanding that we are all doing the best we can with what we know. However, this is not a free pass to be an ass, knowingly or unknowingly. We Tuck the Fringe'rs are sometimes more apt to say, "Well, she's going through so much, she probably didn't mean it the way she said it. I understand why she would say something so mean." And we take it. We allow it. That must STOP! Right now! We must learn how to release toxic people from our lives. It doesn't have to be in a mean spirited way or even in a dramatic way. God places the right people in our path, we just have to be willing to let go of the wrong people without guilt.
Don't ever let the words or actions of others to make you feel less than your beautiful self! Don't ever let them make you Tuck the Fringe. You are on a Divine journey and you deserve to celebrate it!!!!