As I took my last step onto the plateau of Cathedral Rock, I felt my eyes begin to water. The vortex was swirling around me and the air was something I'd never felt before. The wind made my eyes water, but I was also emotional. I followed a group of women up the final stretch, but I felt completely alone. I had looked forward to this moment for weeks. To be in this place to experience the healing nature of endless time. To think of when this place was formed and it's natural energy. In a roundabout way, we ended up hiking a part of the rock that was less touristy, which I was totally fine with. Thank goodness for getting lost sometimes. As I stood there looking out into the vast landscape, I said my prayer. This moment for me was a reflection of my life. Where I had been. Where I was in the moment. And where God is directing me from here. I continued to ask for guidance and I lovingly left past hurts, situations and people on that plateau. I was overwhelmed with emotion. As we drove the two hours back to my parent's house that evening, I put pen to paper. My hand began to move as if it were separate from my body. I didn't stop for almost two hours. When I ran out of paper in the small notebook my Mom had given me, I wrote over top of what was already written. It started to look like a hieroglyphics. That evening before dinner, my Mom said it was time to pray. The three of us stood with our arms around each other and my Mom gave thanks for the day. She said exactly what God had put in my heart. After we ate, I made my way outside with my notes and a lighter. I folded my little note pages into a small square and set it in the rocks. As I lit the pages they slowly turned black and began to fall away into ash. There was just enough of a soft wind to carry the soft ashes away.
The next morning I took my coffee outside to watch the sunrise and enjoy the Quail feeding. As I sat in the chair with my feet up, I noticed a tiny piece of paper, maybe a half inch in size, stuck near the base of a cactus. As I got up to look at it, I noticed it was a portion of my note, partially burned. I bent down to grab it and saw the word LOVE. I reached for the paper and as I touched it, it disintegrated into ash. This was my message.
I stood on that rock and released so much from a place of LOVE. No judgement. No anger. No resentment. No doubt. Just love! When I come from a place of love, even when I'm experiencing a challenge, everything shifts. Nothing is of this world. I can see past the things in life that keep me distracted and in a lower vibration of fear and anxiety. It returns me to the present moment. My power is in the present. There are challenges in the moment, but as I am working from a place of love, I can truly be present, connected and confident in my truth.
I am forever grateful to have this memory to return to. I will use it when I see myself moving towards old patterns that come from fear. I will use it to return me to a place of love.