I am in recovery.
This is a huge step for my Tuck the Fringe self, the person addicted to people pleasing for acceptance and approval so that I don't have to feel the pain of rejection. One of my lowest points and highest healing moments came when I could no longer force myself to be all things to all people. The pain of staying stuck was too much to ignore. The message was clear, but I had no idea how to move forward. There was more to me than this persona. I was tired and hurt. I became used to comments like, "Oh you just love to do it all, so here's more." "Jeannine will take care of it." "You're so organized and good at what you do." "You are an overachiever." I could go on, but you get the point. Every time I would hear a comment like this, it was a double edged sword. It didn't feel authentic to me, but it almost sounded like praise so I became addicted to it. Unfortunately, much of it came from manipulation, to get me to be what the other person needed.
"A people pleaser can only attract takers." When I heard this, it hit my gut. I had a physical reaction of, let's just say, digestive issues. Even now reading the words on the screen in front of me make me tear up. But I love it! I love it because, I can look back at the person I was. Look to the person I am now. And the person I am becoming with tremendous admiration. I am no longer avoiding rejection. I actually accept it with love. Because I know that as I grow and raise my vibration, I will be criticized, rejected and even mocked by others. But none of that matters because I am living my truth and sharing my gift. This is how God has directed me on the journey trusting more my internal guidance. I used to sabotage my progress, surrounding myself with bullies who I felt like I had to make them like me so they wouldn't be a bully anymore. Can you see how messed up that is? But it's true for many of us Tuck the Fring'rs.
Some days I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, but I do know that I'm staying true to my purpose. You cannot share your gift and live your true essence and live from a place of addiction, especially when it comes to people pleasing. Moving forward must feel light and not heavy. There will be challenges, but even in the challenges, you can feel light and effortless. There are plenty of people to cheer you on, but you must know your truth. Find the answers within you, not outside you. I caution you to make your own decisions and create your own path. There's a bazillion dollar industry out there telling you how to find yourself. People spending money to find the answer to enlightenment and transformation. Do what is right in your heart, let go of the how and your heart will tell you the next right step. Then the next. Trust in the process of letting go of the outcome.
Be Yourself ~ Be the Journey