Can I make it? Sure I can. You think? I wasn't planning to go today because I have so much to do. The list is neatly organized in my head, 1 - 2 - 3 - 4... This will throw you off. No I can make it. Fifteen minutes with no traffic. Boom! Yes I can do it! Oh my it's a little chilly this morning. CRAP! There's frost on my windshield. Less than 15 minutes. Yes I can make it. Turn on some classic rock to distract you on the drive. Maybe they'll start a few minutes late. You're never late - especially to a service. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER! Slow cars. Red lights! So many red lights! It's okay. You'll make it. It is what it is. I'm here - 9:04!
Ra Ma Da Sa Sa Say So Hung - Ra Ma Da Sa Sa Say So Hung - Ra Ma Da Sa Sa Say So Hung. Instantly I was brought to peace. Even Though I was late I went to the front row. Most everyone had their eyes closed, no one would notice. My friend reached over and squeezed my arm as I settled in. I felt calm, ease and peace. Thank you Holy Spirit for guiding me here today.
As Victor Doughtery began his dharma talk, the title popped up on the screen. Timelines, Timetables, Timeouts. Ok Spirit! I'm listening. Victor lovingly guided us through his talk centered around his experience with time, where our time triggers start and how resistance plays a big part in our relationship with time. I started to think about my relationship with time. My strongest feelings towards time are first, having the words "needs improvement" next to "makes wise use of time" on my third grade report card and second my experience as a recruiter lecturing my candidates on proper timeliness when it comes to interviewing. The former, might I say, only happened ONCE. Needs improvement my a$$. I'll show you wise use of time! The later, well let's just say, I had a lot of judgement around the timeliness of my candidates. Late was unacceptable and too early was disrespectful. I'm not going to go into the details, but when you are helping someone find a job, scheduling interviews with clients, the last thing you want is for a candidate to be lackadaisical when it comes to time. It comes off as a direct reflection on you as the recruiter and how you prepare your candidate. I didn't realize that it had created such a trigger for me. Or at least enhanced one.
What is time really, other than another way to measure lack and limitation. People are always referencing not enough time. My thoughts on this journey, especially since I've left a traditional 9-5, are that we do not lack time, we just "don't use it wisely". Here's what I mean by this. I am not suggesting that we become ridgid with our time to make sure we get everything done, I am suggesting that we practice awareness as we shift our beliefs about time. Being mindful in the moment, not living in the past or the future. As Victor referenced, living in the past draws forward shame and regret and living in the future, fear and anxiety. For me, it is being present, connected and confident in every moment. Present is awareness. Connected is feeling the moment. Confident is living from a place of Spirit and not ego. The shift comes from realizing that it is our choice. How am I going to show up? Present. Connected. Confident. Can we slow down enough to make conscious choices. Life presents valuable examples. As I sit here at my desk typing out this post, I watch my neighbor drive by with a tiny circle on his windshield where he's cleared away the frost. It made me pause and think how he must be feeling right now trying to rush to make it to work by 8am and it's 7:45. I send him some good thoughts on his journey to work.
It takes a single awakened moment to make a positive choice, to increase the quality of every minute, but we must slow down to do so. Awakening to those moments when we feel anxious or in crisis mode. When someone pisses you off in traffic - choosing to hold onto the moment or to let it go. My friend Mary decided it was time to take a break from social media because it was becoming a negative distraction, even though her posts were the most positive. I asked her if she'd share with me about what the break has done for her. "I have found my break from social media to be very liberating. I was almost fearful being someone who lives alone not having that connection with the outside world. But I have actually had more contact with my friends and family." Those are the type of choices I'm talking about. Choosing how we spend our time wisely. It is similar to the practice of returning to the breath in meditation when the mind becomes overactive. I find as a recovering people pleaser and do'er of all things, I have all the time in the world to make wise use of it. I can take time to make time. Starting each day in reflection, prayer and meditation for a minimum of 30 minutes. Spirit will always guide to do stay longer when needed, especially on the days I'm resistant due to my egos agenda.
Living consciously aware takes a lot of effort. It is much easier to go back to old patterns. When you feel like all seems lost and the world is spinning at a chaotic pace and all things are crises, begin with a single breath. And then another. And another. We truly can slow down time if we choose to. If we don't, more than likely we will be thrown into a situation that will forcibly slow us down. Better that we can choose what is best for our well-being.
If you need to slow down today, here is a link to a Centering Meditation ~ Enjoy!