When I read this it made me feel like I wasn't alone and validated the journey I am on. #tuckthefringe
For what seems like a long while now, I have been asking God, why do I have to keep experiencing what seems like the same lesson. Why certain people have been placed in front of me on my path. As Mark says above, "For our messages to the contrary are deep." I started this journey of uncovering myself 6 1/2 years ago. So that means I have 40 years of people pleasing and dare I say, co-dependency to UN-learn! Gaining acceptance through achievement or doing for others. My co-dependency stems not from the addiction of another, but from the tendency to be in one-sided friendships.
The work that I continue to do in UN-tucking my fringe is saving my life. I've had to really learn some difficult lessons especially in the past 3 years. I've learned more of what the word narcissist means and how people like me are prey for people with that "disorder". I've learned that to be open and vulnerable doesn't mean you have to be a punching bag and that I can still have boundaries without building a wall. And most of all, I've learned that the little voice should not be ignored the second I hear it. I know that everyone is dealing with different challenges in life, but I don't have to put my feelings aside and justify the behavior of others. That's a difficult one!
Along the way, I've had to let some people go and that's been tough because I looked at it as a failure on my part. The lesson I mentioned? I'm learning it faster. The people that love me for me, and not what I can do for them, are still with me. Our friendships are mutual and compassionate. For that, I am truly grateful!
So if you feel like I do at times, remember your worth as a person lives within you. Love yourself first. And don't let the actions or opinions of others make you feel less than. God thinks you are amazing!