This journey has some very high points and some difficult low points. I know that every point is part of the process. As Brené Brown says, "You can't skip day two." Fortunately, the high points make it all worth it!
My most recent ah ha highpoint has been rediscovering my creativity. I say RE-discover because it's always been there, but somewhere along the way, I tucked it in. From a very early age, I remember being creative. My Mom was a natural artist, studying art in college. She could do it all, paint, sculpt, carve, draw, decorate. I was surrounded by her projects my entire childhood. When she was completing her degree I always wanted to copy her homework. She would have to put together design plans on big poster boards with textiles, pictures, colors, room layouts, etc. It was so much fun to take the "scrap" pieces she didn't need and create my own designs. She taught me how to draw, paint, do photography, bake and enjoy decorating. I entered art shows every year during our town festival, I attended art in the woods through the Sun Foundation every summer and at the age of nine, together we built, remodeled and decorated my doll house, which to this day I still have the original furniture that I built from kits. I was exposed to both my Mom and my Grandma refinishing furniture and re-upholstering couches like it was a seasonal design change in our home. And then there was the landscaping. I never remember a time when my Mom wasn't pulling weeds! There was never a chance to get bored.
I'm not quite sure when or why I started to tuck in my creativity. I know that as I got older, I became a busy teenager active in every sport available and of course boys. And like many teenagers, I could be a bit testy. My parents owned a business where I worked with my Mom and my Grandma during high school, so with everything else, I think there was just a shift from being creative to just letting life begin to cover me up. Even as I write this I can feel the heaviness setting in thinking back of how those years changed me. But this isn't about looking back, it's about the freedom of where I am now!
When I began this journey 7 years ago, I didn't know what to expect. I just knew that it was a shift that I couldn't ignore. Yoga and writing became my art and I began to UN-Tuck my creativity. The process of sharing that with others is a huge part of the healing that takes place. Every time I write something or even stand in front of a class, I think to myself, why should I believe that anyone would want to hear what I have to say? That is the daily work that many of us do as we continue to UN-Tuck the Fringe. Ask any creative and they will tell you the same thing. As a matter of fact, the number one crusher of creatives is self-doubt. Mix that with just one comment from a mean-spirited critic and well, for some, they'll never recover. Fortunately, it's not the critic who counts... (read the speech by Theodore Roosevelt)
Yesterday I had two really great conversations with two very strong women in my life. First, my friend who is a very talented artist, working through the process of taking her custom creations out into the world, but struggling with the next step. Second, my friend who Tucks the Fringe for absolutely no one and continues to challenge me daily (even when I ran screaming from her because of the discomfort). In both conversations, I shared how UN-Tucking my creativity has been so healing for me. That I could feel a physical shift in my heart center. Another weight lifted. I compared the process of refinishing a piece of furniture to the same process of UN-Tucking the Fringe. For me taking a piece of furniture and stripping away years of wear and tear, exposing the bare bones and then adding beauty back and transforming it is exactly the journey I am on. Every day a new layer is exposed. Sometimes it takes more blood, sweat and tears, but the results are worth it. This part of the process just started to happen for me. I didn't seek it out, but it is Divinely placed. Bringing back so many memories of how creative I used to be and now letting that creative side come through again. It is true what they say, sometimes we just need to get out of our own way.
I have completed several furniture transformations that I am so proud of. I am learning everyday through the process more about myself and my creativity. When I'm in the process it is a meditation and I come into great peace and joy. I get excited to see the results of UN-Tucking the beauty of each piece and myself.